What is a conflict?

As I was planning to write a series of articles on conflict, specifically the biblical view of conflict and conflict resolution, I thought the simplest task would be to define what a conflict is, and the opposite was the case. My struggle was that no clear book, chapter, or verse of the Bible came to my mind that defined conflict. I had to think deeply, in a spirit of prayer, to have a sense of direction on what to write in this article.

One of the best ways to define conflict is to understand the opposite of conflict. If we don’t have a conflict in any human relationship, what then do we have? If we can get an answer to this question, then we can simply understand what a conflict is.

Well, according to the Bible, the absence of conflict is called “being of the same mind or one mind.”   The best book, chapter, and verse that speaks of being of the same mind is Philippians 2:3, in which the Apostle Paul wrote, addressing, in particular,  the women who were fighting in the Church in Philippi, “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” 

Well, the opposite of conflict is when people, in this case, Christians, have the same mind, the same love for one another, and in full, not half, accord or agreement with one another. So the question is, where in the world can you find people like these? The fact that this kind of perfect unity is difficult to find means that conflict is prevalent in all human relationships and that it cannot even be avoided. As long as we are on this side of heaven, we will never experience perfect peace, even in the local churches where the Word of God is preached faithfully and diligently, like in many, if not all, New Testament churches, like the Church in Philippi. One of the comforting truths that we learn from Philippians 2:3 is that, for Christians, perfect unity is not out of reach but something to strive for, and when we do that, there is an unspeakable joy that comes with it. Hence the Apostle Paul wrote, “complete my joy by being of the same mind, having the same love, being in full accord and of one mind.” 

Now, what is a conflict? According to the Bible, conflict is differences, as opposed to oneness, that makes people to be at odds with one another. Conflict is the absence of sameness and oneness in our human relationships. Conflict exists when people are not on the same page in terms of standards, values, judgments, or opinions. Therefore, conflict is disagreements that make our human relationships sour and bitter.  Yes, conflict is the differences and disagreements that make our human relationships toxic and unbearable to the point of not wanting to be together or work together.

The good news is that living a peaceful life and being united is possible, but only in Christ. For nonbelievers, the Prophet Isaiah wrote in Isaiah 48:22, “There is no peace,” says the LORD, “for the wicked.” If you are not a genuine and growing Christian, you must expect sour, miserable, and toxic relationships in your life. There is no escape until you experience the supernatural and surpassing peace that comes with believing in the Lord Jesus Christ, as revealed in the pages of Scripture. The Apostle Paul wrote in Ephesians 2:13-14, “ But now in Christ Jesus you who once were far off have been brought near by the blood of Christ. ¹⁴ For he himself is our peace, who has made us both one and has broken down in his flesh the dividing wall of hostility.” And the Apostle Matthew in Matthew 11:28 wrote, quoting the exact words of Jesus Christ: “Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” Indeed, no Jesus Christ, no peace and unity; know Jesus Christ, know peace and unity.

What is a conflict? A conflict is a difference in fundamental beliefs that leads to differences in opinions, values, standards, and goals in life. Next time when you have a conflict, check if you have not shifted from the non-negotiable beliefs you once loved and cherished together, and primarily for Christians, our unwavering commitment to exalt Jesus Christ and glorify God with all that we are and have.

Application: Please read the following passages of Scripture prayerfully if you want to offload a lot of conflict garbage in your life: Matthew 22:36-40, Philippians 1:21, 1 Corinthians 10:31, 2 Corinthians 5:9. The fundamental reason, according to the Bible, why our horizontal relationships (relationship with our neighbours)  are sours and toxic is because our vertical relationship (relationship with God) with God is marred and blurring. Reposition yourself by reflecting on your relationship with God and repenting, in a spirit of prayer, always (Cf. 2 Timothy 2:24-26).

Our repenting prayers should always be that God may give us the sanity to always see our relationship with one another in view of our relationship with Him. The sooner we reposition ourselves to this reality and repent accordingly, especially in the heat of anger and conflict, the better, and we must do that more often.